Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Why Don't We Say What We Mean?

In the era of being open, honest, and in touch with our feelings, why is it so hard to say what we mean?  Are we that worried about what people will think?  Are we so obsessed with pleasing people other than ourselves or not hurting anyone's feelings?  Uhhh, YES.

There is no simple solution to this paradox.  I truly believe honestly and communication are the best policies, but I would rather squash something that may have hurt me or made me angry in the moment, rather than be open and honest and turn it into a thing.  Conversely, while I always get hurt feelings and never ever feel quite the same once told off (even when completely warranted), I have tremendous respect the person telling me "I don't like it when you, or it pissed me off then you did this, or that shade of lipstick is hideous on you, or I know we have plans, but I'm just not feeling up to it tonight....".  I wish I were as courteous to myself as I am to others.

I am also a firm believer in treating your significant other, whether a spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, or roommate, aka those who know us THE BEST and love us anyway, better than you would treat a stranger.  I am adopting the very important philosophy that you should treat your loved one politely, lovingly and say and do the things you would to a stranger such as, "please and thank you", holding your tongue when you want to scream, asking if he or she minds if you change the channel on the television and never calling names or saying the ever popular in a relationship "f-you, or you're an a-hole!".  I mean who says that to someone they care about or respect even a little bit?!?  Really.

As for the very simple topic of this rant, I humbly offer that we don't always say what we mean, because being polite or not starting something fairly insignificant can sometimes wisely take precedent over doing exactly what we want to all of the time and/or sparing someones feelings.  In many and most cases, however, I do firmly stipulate that the truth shall indeed set you free.  NEVER lie, but don't say every little insulting thing that pops into your head.

Like my Aunt Helen says, if you don't have something nice to say, come sit by me and spill it!

I very honestly mean, have a lovely Wednesday!!

~ Kate


  1. hy. nice to visit your blog

  2. loved your take--I definitely feel that I spend too much time worrying what other people will think if I'm brutally honest! I need to just understand that those who love me always will--and get. over. it. ;) thanks for this reminder. xoxo {av}