Saturday, February 27, 2010

Too Much Ice In Fountain Drinks

When you order a fountain drink it's for the cool, icy, fresh snap of your favorite soda, however, you will usually get cup full of ice with enough liquid to trickle down into the negative space left over. Enough to fill one or two of your fillings. After about three good pulls with your straw, you're done. This may be a good thing. An attempt, perhaps, at keeping gluttonous Americans from wolfing down too much soda at any one sitting, but I think it's a rip-off. I order a drink that I could literally dock a jet ski in so that I will feel like I'm swimming in Coca Cola when I arrive at the watered down last few sips. If I wanted two or three sips, then I would just stick my head under the faucet or lick the condensation from my co-worker's Snapple bottle!

Next time you are at the movies or your favorite fast food restaurant, be sure to specify "easy on the ice" (mmm, unless it the elusive but wonderful rabbit poop ice they used to give you at Taco Bell, like the kind pictured below. Then, fill-er-up!) and if you get a refill watch closely that the sneaky soda jerk doesn't fill your cup with ice and basically pretends to fill it with your chosen beverage.

If you're a friend of mine, maybe the best option is just try and talk me down off of the fountain Coca Cola ledge. It would probably be a lot better for me! "I'm all hopped up on MOUNTAIN DEW!!!" (Texas Ranger Bobby, Talladega Nights)

~ Kate's Rant

People Who Scream at the Gym

Why is it that the people who make the most noise at the gym are the ones who are lifting the least amount of weight? Do they think a dumbbell in their hand is like being handed a microphone and a captive audience? These are the usually the guys with 25lbs in their hands screaming like they are giving birth, or the girls in the front row of my yoga class who inevitably strip down to their mini sports bra and not-so-taught stomach and only come to yoga once a week.

Do these people crave attention? Are they just that comfortable? While I'm at it....why do guys insist on taking their shirts off at the gym?! Or wear totally inappropriate tight little shorts that leave very little to the imagination? It's not THAT hot! Hmmm. Am I jealous that I'm not that "free" and loose? No, I KNOW I'm better at yoga and most of the time can lift more weight, very quietly, I might add ;)

So, please keep your clothes on and take it down, just a notch. Happy, healthy workouts!!!

~ Kate's Rant

Friday, February 26, 2010

Horrible Night's Sleep

Why is it that I can be totally exhausted, drag through the day wishing for my comfy bed, barely keep my eyes open long enough to brush my teeth, pile into bed and they lay there with my eyes wide open for what seems like an eternity!?

There must be some medical explanation for this phenomenon. I can feel my eyes burning, my body at its breaking point and yet can stay up for hours watching late night TV or laying there in the dark feeling every inch of my sheets or every hair that's out of place on my head. I can hear my dog licking his imaginary balls. (Last night it sounded like he was eating mini corn!) Then I start to think of the eight million things I need to do the next day or the things I forgot to do the day before. Sometimes I even get out of bed and try to accomplish a thing or two, but actually feel too TIRED to do anything that requires the slightest physical exersion!

Then there's the worst kind of the worst night's sleep. The kind where you are so tired that you can't even remember what day it is or what time your alarm clock is set for, but you still can't sleep because all you can think about are red velvet cupcakes from Sprinkles. You even contemplate calling to see if by some miracle Sprinkles is open at 1am on this particular night. Then you get up and start eating Wheat Thins or something equally as unsatisfying. Dry cereal, etc. I once got up and made macaroni and cheese!

There are even nights that you lay awake long enough to see the sunrise! No!!! This literally means you will have one or two, possibly three, hours to get any semblance of rest.

Now here's the part that totally perplexes me.....100% of the time, ABSOLUTELY without fail, when my alarm goes off, whether I've been asleep for two hours or 5 minutes, it's the most comfortable, cozy, dreamy, perfect state of sleep I've ever felt! Only to be abruptly and brutally jolted awake by some hideous, repetitive, electronic screeching. Ugh! Why????

Needless to say, I didn't get the best night's sleep last night. What happened to the days when I was 15 and could go to bed at 9:30pm and not even stir until 3pm the following day. Insomnia? What's that?

I guess I should end this rant considering last night's awful sleep was probably due to the fact that I got up at almost noon yesterday and only because my house phone rang. I would have slept all day I think.

Sweet dreams or productive sleepless nights!

Kate's Rant

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Selfish Drivers

Selfishness of drivers....

I think this mostly applies to drivers in Los Angeles. The unfortunate part about that is Los Angeles is where I do the majority of my driving. Most Angelenos will tell you that they spend a better portion of their lives in their cars, so the traffic is a major variable in one's mental and physical well-being.

I think most of the traffic is caused by selfishness on the roads. They must be handing out drivers licenses at the airport. I've never experienced anything like it and, yes, I've driven in Manhattan. Seriously, is it more important that you arrive a half a fraction of a nano-second earlier than prevent my death?! Or that you refrain from accelerating to let me in?!? Surely it's less trouble to have me careen into a divider, median or parked car. Yet on a street such as Robertson Blvd., it's OK to drive 1.5 mph so as not to miss Jamie Lynn Sigler or Chloe Kardashian buying a scarf at Kitson! Come on! Do you have somewhere to be so urgently that you will totally disregard my brush with death or don't you!? It seems like it would be a no-brainer, but not in LA. How selfish are you? Do you not see my car or did I accidentally pull the invisible one out of the garage this morning? Does my turn signal mean please speed up and block me out so I'm sure to miss my exit? Either way, just think of the flow that would be possible if people actually acknowledged other cars, their blinkers, accelerated at green lights, stopped at red ones and drove like they actually had somewhere to be.

I'm talking to you selfish drivers!!!

Kate's Rant