Friday, December 23, 2011

Why Do I Do It??

How annoying and Grinch-like am I?  Are you the kind of person that starts getting the blues on the day before Christmas Eve, anticipating the day after Christmas?? Or bums yourself out on the first or second day of your 10-day vacation thinking about that awful plane ride home??  Whyyyyyy!!?

I found myself today, instead of feeling anxious and excited about the impending holidays, feeling a little sad as I gazed at my cheery red Starbucks cup and thought of how depressing it is going to be when they go back to white and it's all over with.  As a matter of fact (and even more demented), I was getting stressed when I saw the first Christmas decorations going up around Halloween because I wanted them to stretch it out longer and didn't want it to be Christmas just yet.

Is there a cure for this malady?  Can I just live in the moment???  I even do yoga, which is almost impossible to do without being present and concentrating "breathe in, breathe out, breathe in.....", and find that I'm anxious like a caged animal, like "hurry up! I have errands to run after this!" or I think of ten things I need to do at the office and feel the undeniable urge to break out, find my phone, and put them all down in my calendar's to-do list.

I think it's some sort of masochism, a self-torture ritual of sorts.  Is it an ancestral Mayan instinct intrinsically knowing that we're on the final count-down?  How's that for a cheery thought?

At any rate, as I write this, I'm already getting anxious about the ticking minutes until I'll inevitably be late for work, so off I go, as I can no longer be present and concentrate on the task at hand.

I do wish you loads of Christmas, Hanukkah, etc, cheer and many many many happy minutes all year long.

Happy, healthy, prosperous holidays and blessed new year and always.

~ Kate

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