Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Men and Toothpaste

Why is it that ALL men ALWAYS leave a blob of toothpaste in the sink?? What is that about? I'm not just talking about boyfriends so no psycho-analyzing me, noting a pattern of slobs. It's ALL men! I remember my boy cousins and uncles doing this even! (my dad who is immaculate to a fault MAY be an exception to this rule, but I have a feeling it's more like my very dutiful stepmom that is cleaning up after him). Whoa, sorry, I digress.

How does the the toothpaste thing even happen? Is it and hand/eye coordination thing? Do they just miss the toothbrush a few times before successfully landing a bit on their bristles? Do they not SEE the toothpaste sitting on the faucet or in the sink bowl? Does the water not work when they are brushing? Will it not wash down in the same way as when we women brush our teeth? Are they saving it for a caulking project they have been meaning to get to? Is this part of the spray-on-the-mirror or the spit-remaining-in-the-sink-when-done-doing-anything phenomenon? Maybe it's something girls were never taught about creating a protective paste layer for the integrity of the sink's finish. If none of these applies and it is just laziness or un-observantness, then men, please follow the following simple instructions: 1. open toothpaste (most tubes today have a convenient pump or modern-day flip top) 2. lower brush to lip of toothpaste tube opening 3. squeeze or pump gingerly 4. place toothbrush in mouth carefully to insure paste makes it in as well 5. spit when foamy and covering all teeth and tongue (as close to drain as possible (turning on the faucet helps with this although not p.c. at the moment) 6. in the event that you are unsuccessful at steps 2 and 3, turn on faucet (hot, cold, does not matter), make cup with hand or use a rinse cup provided on side of sink and wash down drain.

Is this just my own neurosis? Remember when all the popular toothpaste was a green jelly? Eiww! Aim for example? Yeah, that's when it was really gross. At least the white pastes of today blend with the porcelain.

However your do it, brush twice a day, floss and be sure to visit your dentist at least twice a year!

~ Kate's Rant

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