Summer 2010??

Where the HECK is the Summer weather?? I say this amidst the last couple of days of over ninety degree weather, granted, but still.  It's basically been no warmer than room temperature since December.  Frankly, I recall a few 80 degree days at the beach in December that were better than what we've had this "Summer"!! Am I actually complaining about constant 69/70 degree days?  You bet I am.  Gone are the sweltering, asphalt-burning-your-feet, days when dying to get into the cold (and sometimes brown and smelly) So-Cal ocean water seems effortless and NECESSARY.  This is Los Angeles, not Seattle!!!  Why haven't I worn a single sun dress this Summer, trunked it more than one five-minute freeze session or even sat outside at night without my winter parka!??

NOT FAIR!!!, but my gripe isn't with Mother Nature.  I mean, the weather is sort of up to her not me.  Here comes the rant.....Residents of So-Cal, what are you thinking??  Why the complaining about the heat!?!  Seriously?? Come ON! We have had exactly two weekends, wait, make that, one weekend and 3 consecutive days (not a weekend) of over 70 degree, beach-worthy, weather in the past 4 or 5 months!!  We have a real Summer day once (and that doesn't always include at the beaches where it has been consistently windy, hence blown out or walled out for the past 9 months from the South Bay to Malibu) and people are actually bitching about the heat!  I can't believe it when I hear weather people on every network spewing the following garbage: "finally, some relief from the heat".  "A much needed cool down for your weekend."  Who wants a cool down for their weekend??  That's when we want to get in the water!

I love it here in California.  I always will.  I don't want to live anywhere else and honestly it can be whatever temperature it wants, but let's just love it no matter what it is.  Scratch that....LOVE it when it's hot and sunny like the post cards and not complain the rest of the time.  We could be scraping our windshields or plugging in our cars, eeeeeyikes!

Happy August.  Here's to a blazing hot Halloween ;)

~ Kate

Curb Your Dog!

I am a dog fanatic.  LOVE LOVE LOVE dogs!  I don't love, however, picking up poo.  I mean, if that's your thing, fine, but I'd say I'm not alone in my adversity to touching feces even through a plastic bag. I do it anyway.  Of course!

I love hiking and running and even walking around my neighborhood, but everywhere I go, specifically Runyon Canyon AND MY OWN STREET, have become like strolling through a litter box.  It's horrific and can't be healthy.

I am perplexed by the people who stand idly by while their pet cops a squat, wait until they've finished, and then just march on like the mess left behind is not their problem.  Gross!! Seriously!  I have experienced the conundrum of being stranded without a poop bag or anything to scoop up the mess, but I don't just leave it there.  That's when I kick into MacGyver mode and find a giant leaf or go scrounging through a bag I may be carrying for some old paper.  I have even been known to leave the scene of the crime go for a bag and come back for it.  It's gotten so bad that I am actually compelled to pick up stranger poo.

People!, haven't you seen movies like The Road, The Book of Eli, even the short-lived Luke Wilson movie that was originally title 3001 by Mike Judge that gives us a glimpse of our world when people adopt the notion that taking care of the environment even on a small scale like picking up after their pets won't affect them.

The ocean is my favorite place on the planet and all of that waste goes right into it, so try and conjure up the notion of the pool scene in Caddyshack the next time Fluffy drops one and you feel like you'll leave it just this one time.  Eiwwwww!

 ~ Kate

Keeping Up With Ever-Changing Trends!

I threw away a pair of Prada wedges six months after I bought them because I thought they were hideously out of style and would never ever come back.  Three months later, they CAME BACK, grrrrr.  I find I do this with most things.  High-waisted jeans, skinny jeans, black jeans, MOM JEANS!!  I have long since thrown away all of my slouchy, Flash Dance-esque Genera sweaters which have now been back for 3 years and haven't gone anywhere yet.  Remember pashminas?  Yeah, had twenty of those, threw them all away and have now taken to replacing them with the $5 knock-off version from the guy on the street corner in Manhattan.

They craziest part is I remember my being told when I was little about how cyclical fashion is and that it all comes back around.  I remember liking my mom's old plaid mini-skirts from the 60's when I was in high school, but what is the deal with modern trends?  It used to be that it took twenty years for something to become kitsch or retro-cool.  Now wide-leg pants with nautical buttons up the front which I would normally throw in the trash can just be shelved for about 3 months and wait their turn for Kate Moss or Sienna Miller to resurrect them and see the entire world wearing them.  Amazing!! I mean it.  Trends go in and out within 6 months time.

These days literally anything goes.  I mean, my God, the 80's has reared its ugly head again!

Here are a few wardrobe staples that I wrote down for a gorgeous friend of mine who wanted a "trendy wardrobe update", but is in her thirties and didn't want to throw her entire life's savings at a bunch of clothes that were going to be out of style in a month and were not age appropriate.

1. Black boyfriend blazer. (3/4 length sleeve is a relevant look, but better to get full-length and push up in the interest of keeping classic)


2. Distressed (you can do this yourself and save about $100 give or take) skinny jeans.

3. Worn black (faded to grey, not grey) skinny jeans.

4. Racer back burn out and soft jersey tanks (A-line or long-waisted only.  NO ribbed.  It's for no one's pleasure!)


5. Slouchy sweater, off-white, heather grey, army green or khaki/taupe.

6. Boyfriend jeans (distressed or faded).

7. Plaid button downs.  Rails (www.railsclothing.com) makes really comfy soft, great color-combo shirts like this.


8. 3/4 length sleeve black or grey leather (or pleather if you are keeping green) jacket.  Madewell has an amazing blue/grey elastic waist jacket that I LOVE.  Mike and Chris makes an amazing leather jacket.  Love all of their leather.

9. 2 or 3 girly t-shirt dresses or tunics in bold colors like purple or blue.

10. V-neck (plunging V) burnout or soft jersey (ie. Splendid or Three Dots) boyfriend T's.

11. Pencil skirt and banging pair of concealed platform nude or black heels.

12. The YSL platform sandal in natural. (see www.ysl.com/sandals) You can also find a knock-off wedge.  Great trans/seasonal shoe and color for Southern Cali.

13. Two pair of trendy t-strap sandals, simple in nude or metallic and black (flats).

14. 1 pair of white Vans (lace-up) or low-top Converse All-Stars or Black or Red Converse All-Stars.

15. 1 pair of creme or black oxford wing-tips.  (www.stevemadden.com $60 bucks!!)

16. A pair of thick black leggings or jeggings. Three Dots makes a great pair that really suck you in.

17. Short trench or rain coat.   

18. White denim is great for Summer.  (I wear it all year with navy blue.) I know, I know....



Dolce Vita on Melrose PLACE is a great place for sandals and pumps.  They also have great boots for Fall/Winter.  Very moderately priced and have great sales.

Chain Emails!!!!!

HATE THEM HATE THEM HATE THEM!!!! Do you have a friend that sends you an email (make that hundreds of emails) with the subject line: "fwd: 

fwd: fwd: fwd: fwd:...." then a thousand published email addresses, including your own!??!  Umm ever consider bcc:?  Anyway, more annoying that having my email address advertised to the free world is receiving an email that literally insists I annoy 50 of MY friends by sending this email and if I don't, my family will die or I will suffer a horrible fate, etc.  NIGHTMARE.  

I'll admit.  I am more superstitious than the average bear, but not superstitious enough to actually believe that by breaking the email chain "that has literally never been broken, don't break the chain and ruin it for the world" I will cause actual harm to myself or my loved ones, but it sort of puts it out there, you know?  It's maddening.  

I would love to hear from the sender who is usually a friend I haven't spoken to in a while, but when I excitedly open an email from said friend and realize it is actually some preachy bulls%$t or a "send this to 100 fabulous women that you know or I'll have 25 years of bad luck", it REALLY IRKS me!  I have asked to be taken off of these chains.  I have enough bad luck.  I certainly don't need the brain damage of decidedly and purposely eradicating such a chain and hence posssssssibly inviting bad luck into my already hectic world.  Thanks a million you selfish, childish, have way too much time on your hands friend of mine who should lose my email address.  

The next time you feel possessed to send me an email that says if I "read the whole thing, don't skip to the end! Send to 10 people! Don't cheat!! Don't break the chain! Make a wish and spin around four times, send your personal info and bank account, this REALLY works!" etc, pick up your phone and call me, write me an actual personal email that maybe says, oh I don't know "hi, how are you?" or write me a letter OR don't write me at all!  If my name only pops into your head when you hit the button marked "ALL" then I want to be "none".  Another productive use of your time would be to reply to your own email about writing to Microsoft who is giving away free money if you send them your bank's routing number and your social, along with your blood type and the deed to your home.  Then when you get all that free money, you can buy yourself a life!!!!  Don't break the chain!!!

xoxo ~ Kate

What Happened to the Virgin in White???

Gone is the day of the Vestal Virgin in white.  Why do today's brides want to look like sluts?  It is NOT Halloween, the every-woman's day to be "sexy kitten"!  It's your WEDDING DAY!!!  Has no one heard or does no one remember that it is inappropriate to have uncovered shoulders, or in this day and age, strapless, in church!?! (I know, I know...I'm even guilty of the cute strappy sundress or the strapless bridesmaid dress in which I felt like SJP) It was not so long ago that a woman would not set foot inside a church without having her head covered.  Let alone attend a Mass.  Let alone YOUR WEDDING MASS!!!

I see show after show, attend wedding after wedding and am always so surprised, rather shocked, when a bride is wearing a Grace Kelly-esque, demure gown and is covered up like a present waiting to be opened, as frankly, it should be.  It seems to me that no one has humility or obsequiousness anymore.  As old-fashioned as it may sound, it is not a day to be sexy.  Quite the opposite as a matter of fact.  It is a day when you are presented to your future husband as untouched, unscathed, vestal and pure.  Hence the white dress.  I know none of us love the idea of having our groom watch in hopeful anticipation only to see the "snow beast" lumbering towards him or have such a veil on that we end up flung over or hung up on the alter steps.  Just a modern day version of this perhaps.  I have more respect for the brides who opt for the blood red or neon green wedding dress and have the thing at a luau or underwater or while jumping out of an airplane.  

If you are going to get married in church, cover it up.  The sexy time comes later, so get some slutty lingerie.  Then, there's a payoff for your new husband that the entire guest list isn't privy to.

Best wishes beautiful BLUSHING brides!!

~ Kate

Credit Card vs. Debit Card

I often hear about people who's entire banks accounts have wiped out or have lost hundreds or even thousands of dollars because someone stole their debit card number.  There are several, really scary, scams out there.  I know because my credit card number has been stolen and duplicated TWICE!   Having your credit card number stolen is a nightmare and a bit of a pain, but my life's savings weren't wiped out.  I just had an exponentially large bill or two and had to have it investigated, etc to clear the charges.

Just the other day I heard on the news that you shouldn't swipe your debit card at the gas pump.  Ummm, how are you supposed to pay?  Cash?  What's that?  I was also recently told a horrifying story that a friend of a friend was shopping at a popular retail store in the mall and when the sales girl asked her to please see her debit card again because "it didn't go through" and she needed to "swipe it again".  The sales girl actually stole this woman's debit card number and subsequently charged thousands of dollars, paid off a car loan, etc.  All of which came directly out of her checking account!  After investigating and very luckily finding out the name of an account that the sales girl had paid off, this woman looked at her receipt form the store and realized it was this same girl that stole her number and all of her money!  I have another friend who's checking account has been burgled more than once and the only stopping the fraudulent debitor is that my friend's account becomes overdrawn.  Super.  Now he has those charges to deal with as well.  Hello?!

My perplextion is not that this happens in the first place as appalling as it is, but rather, why on Earth does anyone use a debit card!?! I mean, these criminals are bold and we all know they're out there, so will someone tell me why anyone uses a debit card rather than a credit card?  Who wants to literally carry around KEY to their entire checking or savings (mine happens to be one and the same)!?  Is it the annual fee?  In my humble opinion $65 - $150 a YEAR is a small price to pay for the security of protected personal funds and a mini insurance policy.  There are also multiple benefits to using many credit cards these days such as bonus points for travel, household items, luxury items, etc.  There are also many, very inexpensive insurance policies such as Buyers Protection for items broken, stolen, lost, etc within 90 days of purchasing them or trip insurance to cover cancelled flights and lost luggage.  If you pay your bill in full each month, much like using a debit card, these fees do not even apply other than the annual fee.  The difference is, your money is sitting in your account for that month accruing interest and isn't immediately being sucked out until YOU review your bill and actually write a check or may an electronic payment.  This way you can see what Sally Sandwichhead at your local mall has actually charged to you and let your credit card company know that you're not responsible.  The girl in the story about the mall store is extremely lucky and rare that she figured out who stole from her and could press charges, but she is still battling to try and recover her money.  Now the only way for her to get her cash back is to win a judgement against this girl and then collect.  Ugh.

If you are someone who doesn't like debt (awesome, totally get it), then open a card with no annual fee and pay it off completely each month.  You will build a strong credit rating and will have an organized record off all of your spending.  Almost no one does not accept credit cards and some places insist on them such as in-flight stores, movies and dining these days.  Take it from me, I have had my credit card account stolen twice, my purse stolen right off the back of my chair in a nice restaurant, my luggage lost/stolen and never returned and more!!  Get a credit card and take back the gold embossed invitation to  your life's savings from these derelicts!!

Happy spending!!

~ Kate

Us Et Morma Loquendi

The following grammatical errors drive me absolutely nuts!!

1. I could care less = I couldn't care less.
2. Out of the blues = Out of the blue OR the clear blue sky.
3. I'm currently away from the phone right now = I'm currently away OR I'm away right now.
4. I was like and they were all, like like like like = I said and then she said.
5. Your welcome = You're welcome.
6. Its a wrap = It's a wrap.
7. Everything and the kitchen sink = Everything but the kitchen sink.
8. I want to win real bad = I want to win really badly.
9. I don't feel good = I don't feel well.
10. (I struggle personally with "affect" vs. "effect".)
11. Professionality is important = Professionalism is important.
12. That really fustrates me = That really frustrates me.
13. As per your request = Per your request.
14. Irregardless = Regardless (I have been told that both are technically correct, but the former seems redundant to me.)
15. I like there house = I like their house.
16. There is to much to tell you = There is too much to tell you.
17. Lets go golfing = Let's play golf.
18. ANY SENTENCE ENDING IN A PREPOSITION!

* I am guilty of a few of these.

I don't mean to be a nudge, but this entire diatribe was spurred on by the unimaginable grammatical and spelling errors I encountered when editing several bios yesterday.  These documents were the adumbration/personification of the people they were written about, for the soul purpose of representing one's self through a short story to people who do not know them and to whom they are trying to impress!  In this age of spellcheck at our fingertips, there is virtually no excuse for simple errors like spelling.  I don't think I've ever been subjected to so many run-on sentences, erroneous sentence breaks, incomplete thoughts and nonsense in my life!!  Come on!  Have a stranger on the subway take a look at it if you don't have any other way to proof read.  Here's a novel idea!  Read it, just once or twice, YOURSELF!!

Happy writing. xo

~ Kate

*NOTE* I had this rant posted for two days before I realized that I spelled "soul", as in "soul purpose", like the bottom of a shoe!  Embarrassing.  Talk about eating your hat. ;)